Tim’s Late News
“Finding Meaning at Hampshire Campus”
My essay finished itself a day later than its expected due date. I wrote an email to my professor letting him know of my problem and that I would hand my paper in the following day. “Late again my friend…” I thought to myself as I typed out the email. “Getting later. Now it’s not just a joke… now it’s reality.”
The following morning I woke up with my entire schedule beating in my head. I had to finish this paper or continue to suffer stress filled sleep and missed breakfasts. My day was cleared with a full five-hour period from noon to six that would fortunately let me finish my work. Even my roommate was out during this time at an experimental art class creating what his teacher called a feminist crucifixion. He was collecting leg hair from students and storing them inside a plastic cup. The mixing of colors between light-brown to dark-black looked like a melted snickers bar to me.
I closed the curtains of my room and opened my laptop. The laptop did not flash on and instead stayed as a reflective black screen. I could see my face reflecting off the computer screen as a translucent entity. My eyes looked over my shoulders, my face, and my hands, making sure to find anything that could cause a doubting thought in my ability as a writer. My hands looked grotesque in the reflection and I made a face of disgust once I started to think about others seeing me this way. “Have I peaked?” I thought.
At this moment someone walked into my room. The door was pushed hard from the outside world causing it to slam loudly with the wall of my dorm. I quickly reacted to this sound and saw Tom walking over to my roommate’s desk.
“Hey do you have any rolling papers man?” He looked at me with his hands in his pockets. I looked at Tom and then back at my hands for a half second and then I looked back at Tom. I knew my face appeared more serious than it should have probably appeared but I felt okay about it. Tom’s eyes darted around the room and I could hear him sniff. “You want to turn a light on in here? I can barely see.”
I motioned to the left draw of the desk. “They’re in there if you need some. Please take as much as you need.” I turned back towards my laptop and started to mindlessly click around the tabs I had open. Quotes of Winston Churchill and Franklin Roosevelt mashed with torrents of Tim Hecker’s recently leaked album. I continued to click around my web browser until Tom left my room.
A feeling of anxiety swelled inside me once he left. I thought about ditching what was in front of me to talk with someone, get to know them, and then overtime create a lifetime friendship with them extending into the forever. The screen flashed white while I fantasized about meeting this someone. An update for my computers software had awakened it, catching my eyes with its brightly lit screen. It was for the latest OS X. I closed the notification and went back to dreaming… making my objects better does not make me better…
“Why do I want this person so badly?” I thought. “Can I get through this one assignment without needing a second life? I came here to work, to work as hard as I can. Or did I come here because someone else told me to?”
I was sidetracked again. Time went on and my assignment was becoming later and later overdue. My computer screen lit up with the same OS X update flashing across the screen. Moving my cursor over the update button, I pressed down confirming the update and waited for my computer to restart. Then I got up from my chair and left the room.
I cannot break my reliance on objects. At least not yet.