Are you interested in bringing America back to its individualist roots? Making it great again? Do you believe that free markets mean free people and taxes are the root of all evil? Do you want to watch the lower class pull themselves up by the bootstraps and clap them on the back and call them “a good friend, a great inspiring friend” when they finally make it to the top? Do you think that PC culture is ruining our country, and that white men aren’t appreciated enough? Come join the Young Republicans club at Hampshire College!
As a member of the Young Republicans of Hampshire College, you will protest protests, stick up for the privileged, and side-eye your hippie-liberal classmates. We meet in a secret location at a secret time, in case the radical minorities try to come oppress us*: make contact with one of our signers to get the secret knock.
*Note: one of our members, Brian, is a minority. We are not racist.